Capital Dancesport Championships 2018

I can’t shy away from the feeling of disappointment with the results of my last ballroom dance competition – the Capital Dancesport Championships. Despite the fact that I danced pretty well – not only my observation but also my teacher Yanna’s, I fell short in the results column when competing with others who I judged were not as good dancers, as well as many others who were clearly much better and more experienced dancers than myself.  Clearly this dance comp was not filled with beginners and even the early rounds of dancing in Bronze witnessed remarkably experienced dancers with impressive style, technique and choreography.  Very unusual for a moderate sized competition.

I experienced a very strange convergence of emotion.  I enjoyed the competition and talking to many of the competitors, judges and organizers that I have not seen for at least three years. Even though the first day of competition went from about noon to 10pm, I was able to somehow stay awake and progressively improve my dance performance skills throughout the day and night.  Adjusting to the knowledge that my multi-dance events would land at night was no small feat, but it was less troublesome than I expected given the reality.  Perhaps not ruminating about it helped me adjust quickly and a short nap between day and night dancing rejuvenated my spirits and allowed for some time to reverse the chronic ankle and knee ailments that seem to loom as a progressively debilitating impairment in my life.  Truth be told, it wasn’t my ankle or knee that limited my dance performance, it was my overall skills and the lack of dance competition experience of the last three years that set me back.  And perhaps this is justified.  How would you like it if you competed every month in a major competition and some dude who you have not seen for three years enters a competition and beats the hell out of you?  Perhaps the judges felt a twinge of this effect in providing a preferential bias in their scoring.  Perhaps not.

One thing that Yanna suggested was that my competitors, regardless of how they looked, were consistent and predictable. To me they looked uncomfortable and tentative.  But perhaps my dance performance might have been better overall, but not as consistent as the others.  One little hiccup in your one minute performance is all that is needed to score you down low, and navigating a busy dance floor provided ample opportunity for my performance to fracture and stumble. The remedy for this is experience and more competitions until navigating the dance floor in traffic becomes second nature. 

I did endure one huge collision – not my fault – from a professional male – who really collided with me resulting in a rather significant jolt.  Interesting, that collision unfazed me as I was able to continue my routine without any further drama.  But then again, I seem to handle the big catastrophes in my life better than the small ones – go figure!!!!

The next day, Latin was on the agenda and that was a short day and kind of fun dancing Bronze.  I even beat one lady in the Bronze Three Dance Scholarship which gave me some hope and a fleeting happy moment to savor.

The final day was international ballroom.  As in Smooth, while my dancing progressively improved in performance over the course of the day, my competition was just too good to score any wins in the multi-dance events.  A slightly younger age group of competitors may have been part of the reason as either I was competing with those 65 and older or those in my age group that were dancing at all levels including gold. And of course, it is hard competing against the ladies, who were mostly skilled, dedicated and experienced dancers riding on the wings of their stallion professional dance teachers.  Anyway, they were clearly much better than me, and I was dancing at a reasonably high level so I cannot make excuses that I just was having a bad day.  They were just better!

How do I put this all together?

If it were not for the results, I would have had a great time instead of a good time. I am not used to such a bad performance, and that weighs heavily on my feeling of disappointment.  The good news is I did not feel out of place in this competition.  The bad news is I received little positive feedback in terms the results. 

There were indeed a few who commented positively about my dancing.  One student wanted to come to Hawaii because they were so impressed with Yanna’s dance teaching skills.  A hand full of others made kind statements at various times during the week about my performance which provided some solace. Clearly, I did not overwhelm anyone, but neither did I embarrass myself in front of some of the country’s best adult dancers.

The last dance of the competition for me was an international foxtrot. I remember my feet getting progressively tired prompting me to change into my practice shoes for the last few heats after consulting with the organizer John DePalma and my teacher Yanna.  During most of the heats, there were eight competitors dancing on a fairly standard-sized dance floor. I did have more than enough traffic to navigate and did not do so with flawless precision. But on the last dance -for some reason there were fewer on the dancefloor and I saw a clear path ahead of me, freeing me to concentrate on the mesmerizing melody of the foxtrot and to relax my movements while holding a strong frame, to smile with enjoyment and to travel the length of the dancefloor with ease. My movements were not strained but fluid; I not only heard the music but felt the music.  I was not regurgitating a choreography that I had practiced for the last few years. I was dancing international foxtrot with my teacher. It was my best foxtrot of the evening. It may have been my best dance of the competition. It felt great and when it was over, I quietly celebrated it with Yanna as we walked off the floor.  I felt that I had just won the Olympics!

Nevertheless, now several days have passed and the sum-total of my experience at the Capital Dancesport Championships leaves me a little sad and bewildered. I ask myself whether this last comp may be my last forever. Indeed, I could not withstand another one or two competitions with similar results. At the same time, I feel that I have not lost any of my skills despite not having competed in the last three years. I also feel that if I wanted to, I have the skills to work my way into competitive success with a lot of hard work, dedication, and diving back into the competitive dance scene by competing in at least one competition every other month. 

Is this worth the time, effort and expense? It’s a lot of work, it’s a lot of Celebrex which will not be good for me.  I know once I begin to really focus, it will consume my day and night with practice, lessons, training and cross training.  Competing will take away from other activities that I enjoy and perhaps prevent me from entering another new chapter in my life rather than revisiting one from the past.

I am disappointed but not disgusted.  I did enjoy myself and my teacher didn’t hate me in the end. I danced as well as three years ago for the most part, and in some respects I think I did better than before….for sure not any worse. 

Pretty good for someone who entered the seventh decade of life with a few progressive physical ailments and pretty good for not having competed for a prolonged period of time.  For this I must be happy.  It truly could have been much-----much worse. 

And importantly, despite the results, I maintained a positive spirit throughout, trying my best throughout the competition almost without exception. I was not hard on myself (and neither was my teacher) and forgave myself for any errors made, rather celebrating those dances done with skill and precision rather than festering in the murky darkness of the stumbles and bumbles and jumbles of those heats that were less than perfect.