A half a life earlier, I was sitting on the floor, my wife Scherer sitting nearby attending to a baby - son David, while keeping a corner of her eye on a pretty little girl of about 2 years – my daughter Leila who now has 3 little girls of her own. In the snapshot I recall that I looked contented while celebrating with my best friend and his family in San Diego. I had considerably more hair than I do now…but I was pudgy then and out of shape. I was working as a Pediatric Resident at UCSD, was happy to live day by day and clueless as to what the world had in store for me when my age doubled and I would be considered old even by my own standard at the time.
Well, today is Thanksgiving and I am indeed thankful for my life and my good health. The loss of my wife Scherer was the biggest blow; she passed away too early when she was 54. I have had - by chance, by good fortune, and maybe by some deliberate intentional focus, maintained my health although I continue to ruminate over the slightest scare in anything real or perceived that may affect my future survival. Indeed, enough proof of this rests below in a previous blog on my prostate - which by the way, seems to be doing fine after a mighty big scare, rising PSA levels and a biopsy that provided evidence that for the moment, my PSA did not signal cancer but some other deranged by hopefully benign perturbation.
I have about everything a man can have who is living either in the last third of his life or the 3rd quarter. I am not the richest man, nor the poorest, I am in reasonable dimension, neither obese nor anorexic, my mind works better than some but clearly there is a slow leak of brain power that shows its ugly face as a reminder that time does not stand still. And……I have little hair and my skin is aging but with a little shoe polish to my beard, even my bald head does not often accurately reveal my real age….wishful thinking. And my disposition continues on the upswing. I’m even relearning how to smile; something that an intensive care doctor really needs to learn to do…I think I forgot when I started medical school.
I have more time to read the news, which is really depressing, but I also have time to cherish the moment, and to be grateful for all that I have been blessed with. Decent finances and a part time job that leaves me alone to come and go at will, good kids with their lives in full speed, good friends who have withstood the test of time, special relationships in my life that I cherish, dance partners and my dance teacher to keep me on my toes, striving for excellence and the privilege of walking on to the dance floor with lovely women who are happy to dance with me.
I could go on, but I won’t. I need to reheat the turkey, warm the asparagus, the yams and rice – thank you Gerri!, and prepare the salad. A quiet but happy Thanksgiving dinner awaits which will be made even happier after the bottle of wine is uncorked.
Don't forget the world perspective you've gained through traveling as much as you have lately. That is certainly one of the blessings of this stage of life. Young and old, rich and poor, we all long to experience what the "others" are up to, and you get to see this firsthand.
ReplyDeleteWrite and share about your upcoming travels, for all of us to share in your experiences...