Choices in Life

I have spent the greater tugboat of my life on full throttle. (For better or worse, I am leaving this legacy to my children). The throttle is no longer pushed forward to the max; I now have the freedom to adjust it at will. And thankfully I have no more cargo to tug! But it’s not so simple to comprehend things about myself, or know what to do, even when I have the freedom to do so. When at home I am always defaulting my behavior to the routine and familiar. It takes being far away from everything common to open neural pathways and creative thoughts, and cleansing the cobwebs of my habitual robotic routines, while waiting for that life changing epiphany to materialize. All this to answer the questions of that day: What do I want to do? Who do I want to be?

Not everyone values the responsibility of choosing freely! I say this with all due respect; clearly those with no choice in life value its absence the most. Imagine for example a convicted killer in jail for life feeling the loss of choice, even for the most basic of functions. But this extreme example keeps good company, to a certain extent, with a majority of others in the world who see their lives as predetermined. These are mostly happy people who dedicate their lives to loved ones in need, paying off debts or simply needing to work forever to continue to pay for the basic functions of life; food, a roof, clothing and a few extras here and there. These folks don’t ask for the most part for more freedom of choice if they are happy with their lives and fulfilled in their relationships. To be sure, some of the happiest people on earth are those with the least, who have never tasted the freedom of having choices. We also know how wealth can corrupt, causing misery and despair when choices are in abundance. This begs the question of whether humans can truly handle the burden of making choices in their lives?

For me, on this trip somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, I have discovered that I am contented with the choices that I have recently made (practice makes perfect). More importantly, I am joyful with the freedom in my possession that has been granted me by some supreme power to make choices. More from good luck than astute and intelligent planning, I find myself free of significant burdens….both personal and financial, and healthy enough to consider any considered choice one to contemplate.