Truly Annoying Encounters of Daily Life; the Cursed Parking Lot

I am much better at complaining than most.  Perhaps genetics has created this in me, or maybe its because I grew up in New York, home of the finest and most productive complainers on earth.   Still I have been waiting a long time to convert these annoying daily recurrent experiences into words.  Of course, I do not expect any change in behavior, but rather this testimony is intended, I hope, to purge some of the pent up hostility and rage that I feel toward those involved.  Indeed, I’m not sure that anyone reading this will find any value or wisdom of any kind, other to uncover a similar festering or perhaps subconscious underdeveloped hostility for the same.  

I really really hate crowded parking lots.  For some reason, in Hawaii, the public becomes empowered by them.  Within this small island state filled with crowded roads and overcrowded parking lots, its usually misery in the making every time you get into your car to go somewhere.

Here is the problem.  If you are lucky enough to find yourself in a parking lot only partially filled to capacity, it seems like everyone behaves, people move swiftly in and out of their cars and everything works like it should.  People are friendly and allow you to take your turn in and out of the lanes and exits.

But, force me into a parking lot already filled to capacity, where newly entering cars are forced to wait in the parking lanes for the random parked car to be matched with its owner expectantly awaiting departure, and behavior instantly changes.  It would appear that some people are so impressed with the power they hold…..look at that line of cars waiting for my spot!, …..they milk it for everything they can.

On one side of the fence, when I see people waiting for the next open space, I hurry the hell up, get into my car and shoot out to relieve the misery of at least one person sitting wretchedly in the queue with motor running, wasting fossil fuel while polluting the environment.   Sometimes I signal to someone who looks particularly desperate (or particularly cute) who might be in a better position to capture my spot with a little forewarning.  A few gracious others are similarly attentive and responsive to this bottleneck parking lot conundrum and are swift to respond to the situation.

But it doesn’t seem like this happens when I’m on the other side of the fence; waiting in the queue for the next spot to open up.  People walking toward their cars must see me out of the corner of their eye and take an instant disliking; they all seem to want to make me suffer.  First, absolutely no intentional eye contact or any acknowledgement is made that you or anyone else is waiting anxiously to claim the next parking spot.  Whether fat or out of shape or in shape or old or young, rich or poor, smart or dumb, they inch their way to their cars slowly savoring every moment of their inherited power.  Some fidget in their trunks, put things away, and I’m not sure what else except that it never seems like a trivial delay.  Then they find their way to the driver’s door, open it and disappear, becoming invisible from the rest of us waiting.   My God, how long does it take to start the car and properly seatbelt yourself safely for the journey?

It seems to take forever for the car to get moving.  What can you possibly do in that time?  Read the paper, check your email, tune in your favorite radio station, rearrange your CD’s, check your lip stick, comb your hair, take a nap, fidget with your clothes, all of the above, none of the above???? Finally when I’m about to pass out in that terminal moment when I have been drained of all of my patience and brain dead from nearly zero cerebral perfusion, I hear the wonderful sputtering sound of car engines lighting up for work.   My heart lightens and my cerebral perfusion swiftly regains normality, albeit cautiously until that confirmatory moment when brake lights are suddenly observed to illuminate…accompanied by an initial volley of shooting grey plums spewing out of the tailpipe….and the detection of movement of the car in question…… signaling one of the happiest moments in my day!