Cool and HOT

Everyone is such a copy cat and slang gets spread like fire in a desert.  But some of the new slang make NO sense and pisses me OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. 

How irritating it is to be at a restaurant and the waiter comes over and asks………………..”Are you still working on it” ………..pointing to the half empty plate in front of you.  What in “Gods” name is she referring to?  I’m not working, I’m eating!  Eating is not working, it’s surviving or dining, but neither one of these activities is work.  Maybe he/she is referring to the work of digestion, which is also called specific dynamic action in medical lingo but I doubt it.  Whenever anyone asks me if I’m working on my food…which I was really enjoying before the moronic question, I want to choke!  This is even worse when they come over and ask the same question when the plate is totally empty!!!!  When that happens, I want to throw up in their face! 

Cool….I guess that means pleasant or nice, or sure, or great, or happy or content.  But why cool, why not warm…most people stay warm rather than cool and even when its cool for people in Hawaii, they wear lots of clothes so that they can be warm and not cool, but its cool – the word that people want to say when they are content or happy.

 

But if someone was cool or you felt cool, and even if you tried to avoid being cool by trying to stay warm, if you were looking out on the street and saw a beautiful sexy doll in skimpy clothes bouncing down the street ..if she would turn your head fast enough to dislocate your neck and kill you, she would be described as HOT.  Guess what…… the average dude would rather be with that HOT girl rather than some chick who was just cool.  On the one hand, you would be enjoying someone’s company who is cool and funny who would make you laugh and ha ha ha; on the other hand, even if the hot girl was a moron, who would you rather be with?  The one that raises your spirits or the one that raises that ignored part of your body that dies a few decades before the rest of you.  Come on, admit it!  A hot girl is worth more than a cool girl, and the same is true if you’re a chick and you were writing about cool guys vs a hot guy.  But wait, you can be hot and cool at the same time or cool and hot, but in the end, the hot chick or guy gets the attention, even if they don’t have not one neuron in their brains to work from…..David…cool it on the Margaritas dude….

Ok, I didn’t get into dude….what the f….. Where did dude come from….what the hell is a dude……dude….this is what Wikipedia says about dude…..” One of the earliest books to use the word was The Home and Farm Manual, written by Jonathan Periam in 1883. In that work, Periam used the term "dude" several times to denote an ill-bred and ignorant, but ostentatious, man from the city.”  Truly I agree that we are all ill-bred and ignorant, but not all of us are from the city.

I went skiing last week and injured my ankle. I came home and my car was robbed of my favorite dance shoes and a ton of other dance music stuff to make me miserable and grumpy…..I was no dude, nor was I cool and I’ve never been hot, but what the f………..  When I was skiing in Deer Valley, there was little snow…..but just yesterday, Deer Valley dumped 20+ inches of new snow.  Now this big snow fall is described as a big dump.  Big dump….this is used to describe a large snow fall????? I thought the slang denoting big dump was something you did in a closed room in your house as a daily fact of living.   And it certainly wasn’t measured in inches although it is regularly inspected by the perpetrator for any abnormalities in content.   And it certainly is never white or beautiful although, released by some species, it can cover the ground and soil your shoes at the most inopportune time.

I was sitting enjoying a glass of wine the other day……the bartender came over and asked me…..DO YOU NEED another glass of wine?????  What the f…..  What a cool bartender.  How did that dude know that I am an alcoholic?  I guess its time for me to leave; anyway, I need to go home and have a big dump…… I think I’ll take a taxi.