Beeeeeeeeepppppp!!!!!

You could drop dead while driving in Hawaii and no one....I say NO ONE will beep their horn.  They would wait patiently forever before trying to inch around you to get on with their trip, peering curiously as they pass, ready to call 911 for any unusual sighting.  But in New York, all you need to do is drive in the vicinity of another car to elicit the most angry of horn protests, the reason for this ever remains a mystery.  

You could be driving the speed limit minding your business weary of the smell of anxious traffic police frantically attempting to reach their monthly ticket quota..... and a hormonal impatient 20ish male driver with a  heavy foot compensating for his small ding-a-ling, controlled by that evil hormone, or maybe from an extra jolt of alcohol, or some bizarre drug-related euphoria.....transmits its categorical message from what little remains up top to the shoulder-to-arm-to-hand releasing its kinetic energy by frenetically pressing against the horn as if he was releasing some pent up internal pressure and anger with a horn blowing decompression.  This in no beep beep, or just beep or even beeb beeb beeb, but this is beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppppppppppp!!!!!!!.  and sometimes there is a feedback loop that plays it again and again. The truth is that you can tell how pissed the beeper is by how many and how long his/her beeps are.  Its like a language.....hey, move, hey watch out, hey, what the f... are you doing you moron, hey get out of my way or I'm going to fu....n kill you, motherf.....And a little blow is a knee jerk...hey, you f.....in assho......the light turned green 43 milliseconds ago and you were too f.......slow to respond....no wonder your wife is f.....ing everyone she can get her hands on.

Text messaging at stop lights is impossible in New York, because if you are concentrating on the flickering genius in your hand even for a millisecond when the light turns, the horns will blow.

If you encroach on someones lane even an inch, the horns will blow.

If you have a sleeping child who is resting in the car, the horns will blow.

If you have a pretty girl by your side who pays attention, the horns will blow.

If you look happy, are whistling or singing a happy tune, the horns will blow.

If you are putting on your makeup or distracted by some paper in hand, the horns will blow.

If you are old and don't look formidable, the horns will blow.

If you are having sex while driving, the horns will blow.

If the lady or the man behind doesn't like your car, the horns will blow.

If you are driving a BMW, the horns will blow.

But if your car breaks down and you need help or someone has a heart attack or someone runs in front of your car and is bloodied in return, the driver behind you will think twice before he/she honks their horn cause they are too intent on removing themselves from the scene without getting involved.

Somehow that self preservation mentality and reluctance to get involved to provide help does not play a part when the anger nerve gets engaged and the driver behind want you to know it at all costs.  Thank you, I think I'll stay in Hawaii.........BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!